When I really meant what I’ve said

I am starting to feel numb. I think it’s good that lately I’ve been fighting for myself. When I know I didn’t do anything wrong and I take precautions to few things before it hurts myself. At this very moment, I am feeling verrrry numb.

I’m sure we like it when someone says he/she misses you…but lately this lovey dovey things doesn’t get into me easily like it used to be. Funny I’ve been telling J those things I’ve never told him before. I was a bit more reserved when I was with him. Maybe I really got my lesson learned this time. But it’s cool! And those feelings which I had before, I would not say I lost it, but it doesn’t bother me so much.

We are really cool buddies now! And when he says he misses me, the feelings were never the same as when we were together. And when I was still bitter about it. Now it gets better and saya tidak emo langsung.

Now I actually gets very comfy for a fact that I don’t belong to anyone (except for my family la of courseeee) and no one gets to tell me what I should do with my nails, my hair, my lip gloss color etc ect which was making my self esteem went down the drain.

And as simple as when I decided not to do something but people keep asking me to do it, I don’t allow it to happen and I’ve been listening to myself! (Announcement: statement ini tidak ada kena mengena langsung dgn kerja saya)

It should be a good sign!